


Waves to the Ocean

by Sylph_of_Breath



Category: Homestuck, The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Death of (adult) child, F/F, F/M, Foot Fetish, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lactation Kink, M/M, gender transition, misgendering/deadnaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22792408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylph_of_Breath/pseuds/Sylph_of_Breath
Summary: Our heroes find themselves in a non-canon timeline. The Prince of Heart offers a way out.Inspired by The Good Place episode 413 "Whenever You're Ready" - vague spoilers
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jane Crocker/Gamzee Makara, Jane Crocker/Jake English, John Egbert/Roxy Lalonde, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 27
Kudos: 38





	1. Dirk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is the purpose of a God of Heart, a being so inseparable from the very nature of Self-hood, in a world, an existence, with no meaning?

timaeusTestified created Group Chat "My Final Message"  
timaeusTestified  invited golgothasTerror to "My Final Message"  
timaeusTestified invited gutsyGumshoe to "My Final Message"  
timaeusTestified invited tipsyGnostalgic to "My Final Message"  
timaeusTestified invited turntechGodhead to "My Final Message"  
timaeusTestified invited tentacleTherapist to "My Final Message"  
timaeusTestified invited gardenGnostic to "My Final Message"  
timaeusTestified invited ectoBiologist to "My Final Message" 

TT: Hello everyone.

You may have noticed that I've been difficult to reach as of late, perhaps moreso than you've come to expect of me, perhaps not. I would apologize, but what I've been working on, frankly, is of far more importance than Christmas dinners, engagement parties, camping trips, et cetera, so actually, I won't. 

Basically, what you need to know is that since we arrived on this planet, we have all made choices, it doesn’t matter who of us made them or what they were, only that several of those choices were wrong. The consequence of this is that none of _this_ is Canon. Our collective experiences are neither true, though there are and will continue to be some elements of truth, nor relevant, and most decidedly not essential. We will continue to live our eternal lives, and yet our lives will be entirely devoid of all meaning. Your experiences for the past several years and from this point forward will never in any way be official content, nor will they be affiliated with or endorsed by any members of the What Pumpkin team or Viz Media. They may not even ever be known by more than a handful of people, though that remains to be seen. Thus, nothing any of us do at this point will be of any consequence at all.

Because the events that will occur, while not canon, are based on the general Homestuck Multiverse, specifically Epilogues and Post-Epilogues era content, there will be plot points and influences from both the Meat and Candy timelines, though not completely consistent with either. Elements will be included or excluded based on what would best support the theme and tone of the story that will soon unfold rather than a strict adherence to either/or. Just don’t think about it too much. 

And yes, that is directed at you as much as it is at them.

I also am quite aware that none of you will have any idea what I’m talking about. Well, Rose will probably have some idea, but the rest of you I’m certain are still in the dark (see what I did there, Rose?) Just know that when the time is right, you will all understand exactly what I’m getting at here in exactly the way that you are each capable of understanding.

With that exposition out of the way, let me tell you about the gift that I have built for all of us.

I have learned that the ultimate destiny of our Godhoods is that as we continue to exist, we grow in our connection to our aspects, following the specific paths of our classes, ultimately becoming the very essence of the aspect itself. Just as Zeus is power, masculinity, paternity, Shiva is entropy and destruction, Loki is chaos and deceit, so too might Jane become indistinguishable from the very concept of Life, Jade, Space, "John," Breath, and so on.

I have, for some time now, been on the very precipice of reaching what I am referring to as my Ultimate Self- the very apex of my powers of Heart. And so I have found myself facing this predicament- what is the purpose of a God of Heart, a being so inseparable from the very nature of Self-hood, in a world, an existence, with no meaning?  
The obvious answer is that there is none. The correct answer is that there is one.

As I said, I have very nearly, though not quite, achieved my Ultimate Self, which means that I still follow the path of the Prince. I grow closer to the aspect of Heart through Destruction of the very nature of Heart. This is my gift, and I am giving it to all of you.

Ordinarily in a timeline such as this, of which there are thousands, rest assured, you would have these options: to live forever, or to somehow find a way to die Heroically or Justly, which is not an easy task outside of Canon. And then what? You spend the rest of Time aimlessly floating through “Dream Bubbles,” reliving twisted versions of yours and god knows who else’s memories, encountering endless iterations of pointless and insufferable trolls, or, maybe you end up somewhere beyond the Furthest Ring where the Dream Bubbles have been destroyed, in which case you drift ceaselessly alone in Space. But in this timeline and this timeline alone, I am giving you a better choice. I am giving you an opportunity to truly end it all- no Judgement Clocks, no Dream Bubbles, no eternal isolation. You can simply, truly, and finally _die._ What happens after that, well, that's not really my purview. We'll all just have to wait and see, won't we? 

I have built The Gate for this very purpose. All you have to do is walk through and you will cease to be. You can do this any time, or never, the choice is entirely yours. The only stipulations are that it only works on immortal individuals, and it only works if you walk through of your own free will, so no, you cannot just push Jake through when he gets too annoying. 

In just a moment I will demonstrate. But first, I will take this opportunity to say that for reasons unique to each of you, I have appreciated having you all in my life. Though I don’t doubt that I have made each of your lives more difficult at times, I hope that this final gift can help you to achieve some sense of control in this chaotic universe in which we randomly find ourselves.

Goodbye.

timeusTestified sent a new attachment “Demonstration.”  
Open video  
Play video

_The Prince stands in his workshop beside a large robotic looking Gate. He waves to the camera. He sticks his head through the gate and it disappears. His headless body then steps forward and disappears._

End of video.

_The message is received. The recipients react._

__

Roxy: NOOOOOO!

__

Jake: Dirk…

__

Rose: *sigh* What the fuck, Dirk.

__

John: Wait...what…?

__

Jade: Oh no! 

__

Jane: Oh my God!

__

Dave: ...wow. Well, fuck you too, Bro.

__

_The Prince is dead. Now what?_

__


	2. Dave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Knights share a beginning, and an end.

“FUCK!” Karkat had just been attempting to knot his tie for the 13th time when the knock on the door makes him jump. “KANAYA I TOLD YOU I WILL BE OUT IN A MINUTE JEGUS FUCKING CHRIST! THEY CAN’T FUCKING START WITHOUT ME!”

The door gently pushes open and Dave pops his head in. “Sup.”

“DAVE WHAT THE FUCK? AREN’T WE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE EACH OTHER? ISN’T THAT ONE OF THE RULES OF YOUR HUMAN PERMANENT MATESPRITSHIP CEREMONIES THAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT THE FUCK OUT THERE AND NOT BARGE IN WHILE I’M NOT EVEN FUCKING DRESSED?”

“Dude chill I’ve already seen you with your tie on.” He holds up his hand and points to his ♋ shaped ring. "Also, I know you know the word wedding, don't be cute."

“OH. OH, YOU’RE…”  
“Yeah, Future Dave. As absolutely dope as my iconic record tee is, it’s not actually what I wore to our fucking wedding. Though now that I think about it, that’s probably my number one regret in life, damn.  
Come here.”

Karkat skulks over to Dave like a toddler worn out post-tantrum, and Dave proceeds to tie his tie into a perfect Double Windsor.

“SO, ARE YOU JUST HERE TO WATCH OR SOMETHING?”  
“Nah dude, I’m not staying, I just thought you might need some help calming the fuck down right about now, and also with your tie, apparently. You know you should have just asked John, his Dad was like, a Certified Tie Master. Dude had like, a master's degree in Dadliness...”  
“YEAH WELL I BET YOUR *CURRENT* SELF IS JUST COOL AS A FUCKING LONG WATER VEGETABLE RIGHT ABOUT NOW. JUST SITTING IN THE OTHER ROOM STRAIGHT CHILLING THE FUCK RIGHT OUT, HUH?”  
“Yeah pretty much.”  
“WELL GREAT. OK, MR. COOL KID. FUCK HIM AND FUCK YOU.”  
“Haha, yeah dude, that’s the plan but you gotta wait a few hours…”  
Dave pulls Karkat by his tie into a kiss before Karkat can resume berating him. Karkat’s tense muscles loosen just noticeably. They finish the kiss and begin a second, longer and more tender.  
“Karkat, relax, dude, it’s gonna be fun… Everything is gonna be great.”  
For once, Karkat takes a moment before he responds.  
“YEAH, I KNOW. I’M FINE. I’M GOOD. I’M… HAPPY.”  
Dave smiles. If it weren’t for his signature shades, Karkat might have noticed his eyes just the smallest bit shinier than usual.  
“I know, dude. I'm happy too.”

Dave pulls Karkat into a close hug and speaks softly into his ear, "Hey, I love you."  
Karkat fully surrenders to the embrace and returns it earnestly. Though soon, it's as if all of the love and affection from his soon-to-be/already was husband has just recharged his his energy to usual shouty levels. “YES DAVE I LOVE YOU TOO, THAT’S KIND OF THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS. NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I’M LATE TO GO MARRY YOU. THERE'S SHOULD BE SOME ROOM IN THE BACK IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT STAYING, BUT IF YOU WANT TO COME TO THE RECEPTION YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE IT UP WITH KANAYA, AND YOU SHOULDN'T COUNT ON HAVING A SEAT OR ANY FOOD...”  
"Nah, man, this isn't my day. It was, and it was pretty much perfect, (spoiler alert,) but now it's his...and yours. Good luck, dude, don't forget your vows..."

Dave kisses him one more time and then forces himself free of his love's grasp and painfully makes his way to the door.  
“Oh, can you like, not tell anyone I was here? I just decided to come a few days ago and like, Stable Time Loops and shit...”  
“YEAH, SURE. FUCKING TIME SHENANIGANS, GOT IT. SAY HI AND FUCK YOU TO FUTURE KARKAT FOR ME.”

Those words hit Dave like a brick. While turning away again he shakily mutters, “Yeah, sure…” and continues out the door and back to the future*.

He’s immediately back to when he came from- 1.6 seconds later to be exact. You gotta leave a little Time so you don’t overlap with your past self- too many Daves and things start getting messy. And just like when he left, everyone is here- John, Roxy, Harry Anderson and their wife, Sabrina, Rose and Kanaya, Jade, Jake, and Calliope. Jane “couldn’t make it,” but “sends her best.” Dave doesn’t really care, to be honest. It would probably just make things awkward if she was here, after everything...

After a moment, Jade is the first to speak up. “How was it?”  
Dave takes several seconds to find his words. “It was…” The tears build up until they start to drip down below his shades. Jade runs over and throws her arms around him. “Oh! Dave!” She starts crying too. He let’s her hold him for a moment before collecting himself. “It was good. He was…perfect, peak Karkat. I’m good, Jade, really.”  
She kisses his wet cheek and giggles. “I know Dave, you’re still the coolest!”  
“That’s me, OG Cool Kid Strider. Earth C’s about to get way less cool, bout to be some global fucking warming up in this bitch. Better call Troll Al Gore to put a stop to this climate fucking emergency y’all are about to have…”  
The group sort of awkwardly chuckles- they want to be supportive but they’re all just pretty sad.  
“Alright, I guess let's get this show on the motherfuckin road.”

Dave goes down the line sharing final hugs and final moments with each of his friends. There are more tears and more laughter and a few more hilariously ironic quips and even a couple of totally ill rhymes. 

He comes finally to John.  
"Sup."  
"Haha, not much, just having a moment with my best bro. Sup with you?"  
John tries to hide the pain in his smile, but he's really fucking bad at it.  
"John, I… guess I just wanna say...uh, thank you, for everything. You were the best bro a bro could ask for, better than either of my actual Bros, and I say that with literally zero of my trademark Strider irony. Anyway, I.. I guess I don't really know what else to say…"  
They stand silent for a moment. Then Dave holds up his fist for one last epic bunp. John grabs him by the arms instead and pulls him into a hug.

Finally, Dave makes his way over to The Gate and takes a deep breath. “Alright, I’m out. Peace.”

He steps through.

_Minutes in the future, but not many:_

__

"John, hey, are you ready to go? Me and the kids are gonna go get some ice cream if you wanna come…"  
"Roxy, I… I don't think I'm a bro." This statement is what finally releases her tears in a sudden and startling sob.  
Roxy smiles warmly and puts their arms around their former spouse. "I know, hun. It's OK. I know…" And after another little while, they go get ice cream with their kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *what the refrance: https://www.backtothefuture.com/


	3. Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a door at the end of the sea. The sky is an illusion.

“Hi Nanna!”  
Your name is June Egbert, and you have just walked into your friend Rose Lalonde’s large and elegant home, looking around with the awkward energy of a guest searching for a familiar face at the party. You turn to see your grandson, Matthew McConaughey waving you over to a cluster of Lalonde-Egberts standing by the kitchen. You head towards them and greet your family, Roxy, Harry Anderson, Sabrina, Matty, and his partner, Lilly, who is enormously pregnant with not one, but two great grandkids. Seeing her reminds you that you are, in fact, really fucking old.

Harry Anderson, thankfully, interrupts your internal crisis: “Hey, Dad, we were just trying to remember that story Aunt Rose used to tell about the time she dropped your dad’s car on your birthday present... ”  
“Haha, oh yeah, but no, the present was in the car, she dropped the car down a cliff. Speaking of Rose, I should probably go try to find her and say hi…”  
“Don’t worry Juney," Roxy reassures you, "Rose and Kanaya are makin the rounds, they’ll find you! Lol, you know Rose is an excellent host! And she promised me they’ll make sure they get plenty of time to talk to us tonight!”  
"Yeah, OK. I'm gonna go get a drink, anyone want anything?" Roxy blurts out their new favorite joke as if they've been waiting all night for the chance, "Tequila shots for me and Lilly, please!"  
"Yep, that's definitely still hilarious, Grammy…" Matty responds, but you're already walking away.

You make your way over to the bar. “I applaud your very fashionable lateness, June.” you hear from behind.  
“Oh, hey, Rose. Yeah, I’m sorry about that, I…”  
“Dont Listen To Her, She Is Just Human Teasing You.” Kanaya steps in to save you. “My Wife Seems To Have Taken Tonight As A Final Opportunity To Fuck With Those She Loves Most.”  
“Well, if I’m going to go out, I might as well go out on the top of my game, don’t you think, June? Besides, none of this is Canon, after all, so why shouldn’t I have a little fun?”  
She winks, but you just kind of stand there, frozen in your discomfort and confusion. Kanaya takes pity on you again.  
“June, You Look Lovely This Evening. Were Both Very Glad You Could Make It. Please Dont Forget To Take Your Parting Gifts Before You Go, Youll Find Them In The Library. Ill Let You Two Catch Up.”  
She kisses your cheek and heads over to a group of trolls across the room.

“So… nice party.”  
“June, it’s alright, I know you hate this, and I really do appreciate you coming anyway. It means a lot that you respect my choice despite not understanding or agreeing with it. And I’m not fucking with you anymore.”  
_“Of course_ I came, Rose! I hope you didn’t really think I wouldn’t come! I wouldn’t just not say goodbye to you after everything we’ve been through, after, geez, how many years?”  
You feel the wetness in your eyes and the warmth in your face and take a moment to just Breathe.  
“But…”  
“But, you’re right. I don’t understand this at all. Dirk was… well, crazy? Suicidal? Who even knows with Dirk, honestly. And Dave at least was in mourning for the love of his life- sure he had us, but he didn’t have Karkat, he didn’t have his Bro, he didn’t have any…”  
You have the sense to stop yourself.  
“Children. It’s OK, June, you can’t say anything that will hurt me or change my mind so please speak freely. Do me that courtesy.”  
You take another centering Breath.  
“I just don’t know how you could leave Vrissy without either of her mothers just like that. You’re both healthy, and happy, aren’t you? It’s not like either of you are aging or dying, and Vrissy doesn’t look like she's aged all that much since she and Harry Anderson were dating, so I don't understand how you could think there's any reason at all to go! I just... don’t understand how you can do this to her...”

“We can do it, June, because we know our daughter and we know that Vriska will be just fine. Remember that despite how she looks she is 62 years old, the same as Harry Anderson, who is about to be a grandparent. She's not a child. I admire the closeness of your family, I mean that completely sincerely and without judgement. But trolls are different- _my family_ is different. Have enough faith in me to believe that the three of us have thought this through and have discussed it at great length, and it is not a decision we made lightly.”  
Now Rose takes a breath to calm herself, small enough that she was probably hoping you wouldn't notice.  
“Vriska hasn’t needed us for a long time, and yes, because of her blood she will continue to live for a long time continuing to not need us. _She_ is healthy, and happy, and successful, and independent, and strong, and _she_ understands our choice and _she_ supports it, and that is all that matters.”  
“Rose, I’m…”  
“No, it’s alright, June. I understand your concern, and I know that it comes from a place of great love of which very few people I’ve ever known are capable.” She gives you a slight but sincere smile.  
“I guess, I just still don’t understand why, or why now? Even if it’s OK to go, why do you _want_ to?”  
Rose takes a moment to choose words that she hopes you will understand. Her face gives absolutely nothing away as you wait.  
“Because, June, it is the next step. Every bit of knowledge that I can’t learn, that I can’t...See, is beyond that Gate. I’ve filled my life with as much as I could, explored, read, written, thought, lived as much as this existence allows. But I have seen the limits, the edges, and there is nothing left for me to do but to step through. I’ve tried, for several years now in fact, to find anything new and Real in this life, but there is nothing left, June, not for me, anyway. I could continue searching for millennia more, but the Light has gone out. In a world with no greater purpose in store for any of us, this is the destiny that I have claimed for myself, and the only _real_ thing I can do anymore is to take it.”

You must not be hiding your lack of understanding very well, because Rose continues with,  
“I assume you’ve seen the movie The Truman Show?”

Obviously you have, it's a classic. With that analogy, you think you’re sort of beginning to get it, but of course, you can’t, really. You just do your best to understand that you don’t understand and accept that Rose, the smartest person you’ve ever met, knows what she’s doing. If she says there’s a door at the end of the sea, it must be true, even if all you can see is sky.

You spend the next few hours mingling, eating and drinking, before making your way into what the flighty broads who own this house call “the library,” which is really just an office with extra bookshelves built into the walls, several of which are filled with Rose's own anthologies. The room is almost entirely filled with long clothing racks with just enough of a walking path between each. The racks are labeled- Vrissy, Sabrina, Lilly, Jade, a few names you don’t know, and finally, June. You recognize one or two of the pieces, but Kanaya seems to have used her spacey powers to perfectly assess your measurements and alter them each to fit. You don’t know when or where you are ever going to get the chance to wear most of these, especially since you are about to lose your only two friends who throw fancy parties, but you take them and drape them over your arm nonetheless. They will look nice in your closet, at least, and will be something material to remember your friends by...

On your way back out through the living room you notice that the party has died down significantly. There are still a few odd people that you don’t know standing around, mostly trolls, but you spot Rose over on the couch, Kanaya and Vrissy on either side of her, and then you notice Roxy, Jake, Callie, and Jade are there as well. Rose looks up and makes eye contact with you, as if a sixth sense let her know that you’d be in this exact spot in this exact moment. You obey her unspoken request to go over and join them.

“I hope you weren’t planning to abscond with half my wife’s wardrobe just yet, June. The night is still young enough, and it’s not as if you’ll be seeing us at Thanksgiving this year...”  
“I was just gonna put these in the car and come back,” you lie. You feel like you’ve already taken up enough of Rose’s time and attention tonight, and you didn’t want to press the issue, despite, well, because of the the significance of the occasion. But as the conversation continues and you look around the circled up furniture, you realize that these people, yourself included, are exactly who deserve Rose’s attention tonight. As the hours continue to pass, the remaining guests depart, but your group stays put on their couches and chairs and drinks, talks, and laughs until the sunlight peaks in through the large elegant windows.

“Rose, Dear, I Believe It May Be Time.”  
“Yes, I believe it is.”  
Just as with Dave, everyone instinctively just sort of lines up to give and receive their final farewells. This time you place yourself firmly in the center. Kanaya and Rose make their way down the line and you have your moment with each of them, and then it is over. Roxy is the one who gets the final goodbye this time, as it should be. You glance over to see them crying but smiling, as Rose plants a motherly kiss on their forehead. You focus on not overhearing their conversation- it’s not for you.

“All right everyone, please lock up on your way out!”  
“What She Means To Say Is That We Love You All.”  
“Yes...that is what I mean.” If you didn’t know better, you would think that Rose’s guard was not quite all the way up at this moment. “We love you all. Take care.”  
Rose takes her wife’s hand and her daughter’s, and the three of them walk towards the door. She stops and turns back one more time. “And in case I don’t see you, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!” and she gives you one final wink before turning around again and leaving with her family.  
You all crowd around to watch through the grand window as they get in Vrissy’s car and she drives them off towards the rising sun.

“So,” Roxy finally breaks the silence, wiping their eyes, “Who wants pancakes?”  
As if on cue, your phone buzzes. You read the text and that old familiar mix of euphoria and absolute panic sweeps through your body.  
"Uh, actually, Roxy, we gotta go!"  
"*GASP!* BBs!?"  
"Babies!"  
"BOY HOWDY! I'll drive!" Shouts Jake, already running out the door...


	4. Roxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> June receives a *mysterious* letter.

You are still June Egbert, though you are older now, older than you care to think about. It is very late on a Saturday night, Sunday morning really, and you have just come in through the front door of your house. You unzip your best Kanaya dress and kick off your heels with a relieved moan (these things are the worst part of being a woman, hands down,) as you turn on the light. You spot an envelope on the floor with your name on it in unmistakable flowery pink letters. Your Breath catches in your throat.

_Pick it up._

_Open it._

_Read the letter._

Dear sweet SWEET Juney!

WHAT a beautiful wedding right? actually, lol, idk yet cause im writin this before the wedding, but i bet it will b beautiful! i know that Nikki Cage will look GORG in her dress cause i was there when she picked it out! and im sure Becca will also look gorg cause lets face it she is a Stone. Cold. BABE! is that weird to say about ur future/current great great granddaughter in law? lol, probs but just dont tell her or NC ok? *wonk*

aaaaaaanyway… so, maybe u figured this out already cause like, when have i ever left u a *mysterious letter* b4 but… i decided to… go. after the wedding. i actually decided kinda a while ago, maybe? idk, i don’t think i had like, a MOMENT when i KNEW or anything definite like that so much as like, it kept feeling more and more wrong to stay. this is gonna sound WAY stupid, but like, it almost feels like the Void (™) is like, _reaching out to me_ or some cool kinda spooky shit like that! i kinda think i get what Dirk was saying about like, becoming ur aspect, like, at this point theres nothing better for me to b than to just... not b anything…

ok, that sounds TOTES melodramatic and v v dumb! i guess i cant really explain it, but im p sure this is how everyone else felt b4 they went. and i know that someday u will feel it too Juney. or, idk, maybe instead of the Void ® calling u will hear the Wind © calling? lol, or whatev it will b like, u will keep livin an AWESOME life and bein AWESOME until u are ready and u will know when its time! :)

also... i guess if im bein TOTES honest, like, all that is real but also, its... Harry Anderson. its not that im sad that theyre dying, i know that seems like, super harsh but like, i know that theyre hella old and that they had a rad life and some DOPE descendants and were THE COOLEST so like, i think its ok and like… good? BUT… it doesnt really seem ok or good for me to just still b around when that happens. people _should_ die when theyre 102 but like, their moms shouldnt b not dead and also still totally smokin hot, ya know? and every time they forget who i am it just makes me feel more and more like...im nobody...not even in a bad way, if that makes sense, it just reminds me that bein nobody is what im sposed to b.

ok but Juney, i do feel those things for me and i want u to b the person that i share them with because u r my fave 4ever and u totes deserve to know but like, dont feel like u have to understand or feel the same or do anything ur not 100% ready to do! if u want u could totes stick around for like, a billion more years and also find another foxy babe or 2 and have a million more bbys if u want! idk, u just gotta follow ur own heart or w/e and u can’t go wrong <3

i love u Juney and i know that u and HA and everybody will b fine or else i wouldnt go. please go easy on urself while im gone and try to have some fun k? u deserve to b happy more than anyone i know!

XOXOXO!!!!!

Roxy <3

PS please dont b mad that i didnt tell u in person, i know u probly think u woulda preferred that Juney but trust me, this way is better. it means we got to spend all our time together just havin fun and bein normal and happy! plus im p sure u woulda tried to talk me outta it and tbh i mighta just let u, LOL! but dont worry, i did talk to callie and theyre gonna tell everyone else so u dont have to, u can just b alone 4 a while if u need to. they also said that after they r gonna go to Space or something to try and do something important...? idk what they meant tbh but I bet theyd luv to hear from u b4 they go if u feel up to reachin out...

PPS i also talked to HAs nurses and they r all good and will call u if anything happens, and also u can still go over to my house and visit them anytime! actually, lol, its ur house now im leavin it to u! LUV U JUNEY UR THE BEST! <3 <3 <3

You put down the letter and go to bed. You can't think of anything else to do.


	5. Jade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two old friends decide their fates.

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.”  
“Thinking about what, Jadey?”

Jade Harley and Jake English sit at June Egbert’s dining room table. It is very late at night, and June has long since gone to bed. She always makes an appearance on poker nights to be polite and to catch up, but these nights are for Jake and Jade. The table is covered with empty beer bottles, half-full beer bottles, spilled beer, playing cards, poker chips, a plate of burnt on cheese and corn chip crumbs that was once some delicious nanchos, and a mostly untouched bowl of less delicious pistachios. 

“You know...going through…”  
“Ah. Through Dirk’s Gate, you mean?”  
Jade nods. Her expression is uncharacteristically timid, almost ashamed.  
“Golly, Jade, what’s got you feeling like shuffling right the fuck off to Buffalo? Did something happen?”  
“No, nothing happened, I mean, not recently. Actually, I guess that’s kinda the reason why I’ve been thinking about it! I’ve just been realizing more and more lately that I’ve done everything I ever wanted to do, some things several times! I’ve had so many great adventures, I’ve been all around Earth C, I’ve met so many incredible people, and it used to be so much fun and so exciting! But lately it just kinda feels… empty. And… lonely.”  
"Hmmm..."  
"I can't really remember a time when I didn't feel at least a little lonely, and I guess I just used to think it was normal, and it was just something I had to deal with and put on a brave face, that I must have deserved it, or at least that it was a sacrifice I had to make to help my friends. But I'm tired of it, Jake! And now half of us are gone already, I don't really think it's gonna get any better at this point. More and more lately I've just been thinking about how it's time for me to stop trying to fill this empty Space inside me and just...let go."

“Crickets, Jade, I had no idea you were feeling that way.”

“Hehe, yeah, I wasn’t really sure how or when to bring it up, but I wanted to talk to you about it Jake because, well, you’re my oldest friend and I…well...”  
“What is it Jadey? You can tell me.”  
“I guess I want to make sure you’ll be OK when I go.”  
“Oh.”

They sit in the tense silence for a minute.

“Jake, it’s OK if you want me to stay a little longer! Just tell me and I'll stay! I won't be mad or anything!”  
“It’s not that Jade, it’s just that, well, I was actually also kinda kicking around the ol' idea about going soon.”  
“You were?”  
“Sure was…”  
“But…we can’t both go, because...”  
“June...”  
“June.”

Another beat of silence, this one more despondent than tense.

“I just really… miss him, Jade. A whole fucking awful lot. All the time.” Jake sniffs, he is holding back sobs with every fiber of his considerable Man Grit. “I used to be able to distract myself with all my rip-roaring globe trots, but, well, like you said, it all sort of gets a teensy bit lackluster after so long.”  
“Jake, I’m sure he’s OK. I’m sure he’s happy. And I’m sure he’ll contact you someday! He must really miss you too…”  
“No, Jadey, I don’t really think he will. I know I really flubbed the dub as a father, he was right to give me and old Janey the slip."  
“Yeah, but...um…”  
“And... I know I’m not the sharpest crack of the whip, but I reckon he’d be 112 right about now and...well…”  
"Oh, I guess I hadn't really thought of that." Jade realizes her faux pas and attempts to salvage the conversation. "Heh, you know time isn't really my thing! Umm… I mean, it's still possible that, umm…"  
But it's too late. Jake's Man Grit falters and he lets out a Man-sized wail.  
“Oh, Jake!” Jade throws her arms around him and lets loose her tears as well. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" For a few minutes the two allow themselves to embrace each other and freely cry away.

Finally Jake breaks free and collects himself.  
“I’m so sorry Jade, that was downright fucking ungentlemanly of me!”  
“Jake, you know you don’t have to be gentlemanly with me, you can just be real!”  
“I know Jadey, but… I know I can be, how did Jane put it? A spineless, manipulative man-baby…”  
“Jake!”  
“No, Jade, it’s OK, it’s true. And to be quite honest, I don’t really feel too broken up about being that way with Jane, or with Dirk to boot! I learned pretty early on that if I was ever going to get a hobo's share of affection out of either of those two, I had to pry it right out of them by any means the fuck necessary! But I sure as shoes don’t want to do that to you, Jade. I don’t want you to think you have to give up what you want just because I turned on the ol' water works and played the dead son card.”

His voice breaks again on the words “dead son,” but he manages to restrain his tears to just a slow and quiet drip down his cheeks. He is being as real with Jade as he’s ever been with anyone in his life, a fact that is not lost on her. Jade places her hand on his and gives him an appreciative smile. "I know, Jake, I don't think that at all."

And so the Witch and the Page find themselves once again at an impasse of mutual love and respect. And once again they sit with it silently for a moment.

“I have an idea!” Jade shouts out a few minutes later. “Why don’t we play for it!”  
“Play for it, Jadey?”  
“Poker, silly! We play and whoever wins gets to go! And we’ll get everyone together and we can have a big party like we did for Rose and Kanaya and that way we don’t have to go at the same time and leave June all alone! Whoever loses can stay with June and then go in a couple more years maybe once things have… gotten back to normal...sorta?”  
“Ho ho, Jadey, that sounds golly damn exciting! I think you’ve fucking cracked it! Let’s play!”  
“Hooray! I’ll deal!”  
They play.

_Minutes in the future, but not many..._

Jade looks at her cards- a pair of tens. She looks at her pile of chips- considerable, and her opponent's- meager. She glances up at Jake- judging by his horrendous poker face, he doesn’t have much this time either and is Hoping for the best. Jade carefully shrinks the ten of spades and delicately stuffs it up her sleeve, swapping it with the ace she keeps up there just in case, (not so she can always win, just so she can make sure things stay interesting! If she never cheated against Jake, she probably would always win, and where would be the fun in that?)  
“All in!” Jade declares with a grin, pushing in her large stash. “Let’s see ‘em!”  
Jake lets out a nervous laugh as he puts down his pair of twos.  
“Damn! You called my bluff, Jake, you win!”  
“I…” Jake’s awkward smile fades to an expression of dread as the color drains from his face.

“Jake, are you OK?”  
“I… can’t do it Jade. I can't go through with it. Heh, I guess I’m too pigeon-livered after all...haha!”  
“Jake… are you sure?”  
His face relaxes. “I’m sure Jade, I want you to have this! Actually, I think I could manage a few more years of adventures out of these old bones!”  
The tears come back to Jade’s eyes. “Jake, thank you.”

Jade’s next two weeks are full of _several_ parties, hikes, movie marathons, one or two _reunions_ with former lovers, and a lot of time well-spent with her two best and oldest friends. For the first time in a while, Jade has fun. She feels joy. She feels loved. Then one night after a particularly delicious dinner (steak, extra rare,) she thanks June and Jake for everything, hugs them goodbye, and she leaves for the last time. 

She does a little cartwheel through The Gate, giggling as she fades away.


	6. Jake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in the world is Jake English?

ectoBiologist began pestering gutsyGumshoe  
EB: hey, jane, are you there?  
GG: Oh! John, hello! It’s nice to hear from you, though I’m a bit busy at the moment I’m afraid…  
EB: oh, no worries, i just wanted to ask you really quick if you’ve by any chance, um, heard from jake…?  
GG:...Oh.  
EB: i’m really sorry to ask, i know things between you aren’t, well, super great...  
EB: it’s probably nothing, he goes off on his adventures all the time without remembering to tell me, and i know he’s been pretty down about jade and probably just wants to be alone, it’s just that he’s been gone a lot longer than usual now, and i just noticed he left his favorite guns…  
EB: i really wouldn't bother you about this but i'm actually starting to get pretty worried...  
GG: So he didn’t tell you?  
EB: tell me what?  
EB: ...jane?  
GG: John, he’s gone.  
EB: like, gone, gone?  
GG: He went almost a month ago. I just… assumed that he’d told you and…  
GG: I only know because my surveillance team told me.  
EB: surveillance team? you were having him watched?  
GG: Well of course I was! For his own safety! If you only knew how much danger he was in just for being my ex-husband you’d be thanking me for it!  
EB: jesus, jane!  
GG: And you _should_ be thanking me, by the way, since letting him live in your house hasn’t exactly made _you_ any less of a target!   
EB: i can’t believe you didn’t tell me!  
GG: Well fuck, John, how was I supposed to know he’d just up and go like that without the decency to say goodbye to his last remaining friend! I know it’d be too much to ask to notify the mother of his fucking child, but the people he actually pretended to give a flying fuck about? I thought for sure you’d have thrown him a sweet little death day party to reminisce about all the good times and how much you miss Dirk and Dave and Rose and Roxy and Jade and all those goddamn trolls and how much you all just loved each other!  
EB: jane!  
GG: And it’s not like any of you have exactly invited me for tea for the past few decades so I'm sorry for not penciling in time to check with you about all the things that I know that you may or may not know!   
GG: Do you know how I even found out about Jade? The fucking newspaper!   
GG: You remember that I was technically her mother, right? Christ, John, that's now two children of mine who've up and fucked off forever without so much as a word! I suppose you're next! Shall I just go ahead and say goodbye now forever or just check in in a few years to make sure you're still alive?  
ectoBiologist is typing...  
  
ectoBiologist is typing...  
  
EB: fuck, jane. he’s really gone?  
GG: Yes John, he’s gone. He gave up and abandoned us both like the coward he always was. Now you know. And I have to get back to work.  
GG: I’ll take the detail off your house, you should be safe now.  
GG: Goodbye.  
EB: bye, jane.  
EB: and.. my name is june now, btw...

gutsyGumshoe ceased pestering ectoBiologist.


	7. Jane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Maid sits in her crimson tower and reflects on her Life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to add an update because it has recently come to my attention that the portrayal of Gamzee and Jane and Gamzee's relationship in this chapter, while, I believe, consistent with canon and post-canon Homestuck, is potentially harmful and offensive in ways that I had not previously recognized. After some thought, at this point I have decided to leave it as is for the sake of consistency and transparency, but do want to add this additional warning and apologize if this has caused any hurt to anyone who has read this. I may still decide to edit it in the future, and I am very open to feedback or suggestions!

You are now Jane Crocker. You sit at your extremely expensive desk in your extremely large office at the top floor of your extremely tall and illustrious Crocker Corp. Headquarters. Your **CLOWN OF MANY YEARS** , Gamzee Makara sits beside you on the floor, as is customary. He is rubbing your feet, occasionally sticking a toe or two in his mouth.

Ordinarily, these are your prime working conditions, but today you find yourself struggling to stay focused and be productive. You recall the moment that was the catalyst for this depressive state- three weeks ago you sat down at your desk in the morning, as usual, looked at the meetings on your calendar, as usual, but as your eyes drifted up to the date on the top of the screen, the knowledge that you had pushed down and covered up for nearly a century came flooding back. It was your wedding anniversary with your ex-husband, Jake English, but this year, for the first time, Jake English was dead.

Your guard slips for a moment and you let out a sigh.

“wHaT’s TrOuBlIn YoU, mY nAsTiEsT sUgAr TiTs? YoU dOn’T sEeM tO bE aCtIn AlL lIkE tHe PoWeRfUl BuSiNeSs BiTcH i KnOw YoU tO bE!”

“Nothing, Gamzee. Less talking, more sucking. We’ve talked about this.”

“oH yEs MaAaAaAaAaAm! I dOn'T mEaN tO bE gEtTiN aLl DeRlIcT iN mY dUtY, mY bOoTyLiCiOuS bEaUtY!”

“Actually,” you jerk your foot out of his mouth, nearly taking a few teeth with it, “why don’t you take the rest of the day off? I have a few things I need to take care of and I can’t focus over the sound of your disgusting slurps and honks.”

“aNyThInG yOu SaY, mY MoOlIcIoUs MaMaCiTa!” He plants a sloppy, foot-smelling kiss on your cheek before jaunting out of the office. You just hear “Can I get you anything, Mr. Mak…” before the soundproof door shuts behind him.

You are alone. You sit in absolute silence. You allow yourself to rest your head in your hands and think. You allow yourself to stay this way for several minutes.

You think about your… is it still accurate to call them friends? Even just to yourself? Some of them were certainly your very best friends early in your long Life. Others were briefly friends when fate thrust you all together and made you co-deities of the universe you have since occupied. Something other than fate shortly thereafter sent you each on paths away from each other, or maybe, only your path was away. But that was all a very long time ago. Now they are all gone, so you can privately call them anything you want and who the fuck is going to stop you? Well, all are gone but one…

You sign back into your computer and open Crockersoft Words.

June,

I’m sorry for how our last conversation went. I shouldn’t have taken my frustrations with Jake out on you, I know it must have been hard for you to find out the way you did, and my coloring the conversation with my own bitterness surely did not help the blow land any softer! I’m also sorry for, well, everything, I suppose. I know that I let my ambitions get in the way of my relationships with you and everyone else, and while I can’t honestly say that I fully regret the way I chose to live my Life, I would have liked to make more of an effort to keep in touch. I like to think that there are other timelines in which we remained close, and take comfort in the knowledge that this one, well, didn’t really matter in the end!

I’ll keep this brief, but I just wanted to let you know myself that I’m going now. I’ve achieved everything I’ve set out to do and then some and am ready to rest. I suppose I’ve finally realized that, as it turns out, the Ultimate culmination of Life is death, who’d have ever thought, hoo hoo!

I wish you all the best in whatever time you have left.

Sincerely,

No. She deletes the word.

Love,

Jane B. Crocker

If your estranged ecto-daughter has any objections to your word choice, you will never know. She will simply have to deal with it.

“Phyllis!” You call your **TRUSTY ASSISTANT** into your office.  
You hand Phyllis the envelope that contains the printed and signed letter, and instruct her on when and to whom to send it.

You also lay down your freshly printed update to your will, sign it, have her notarize it, and instruct her to immediately send it to your attorney.

_I, Jane Elizabeth Crocker, being of sound mind, make the following amendments to my last will and testament:_  
_My home and all of my personal effects therein, as well as all of my personal wealth and assets, I bequeath to Gamzee Makara._  
_Crocker Corp. and all of its holdings and subsidiaries I bequeath to the eldest descendant, by birth, marriage/domestic partnership, or adoption, of Tavros Crocker, with sufficient evidence of said descendant’s identity to satisfy the Crocker Corp. Board of Directors by at least two thirds vote. Until such time as this individual comes forward to claim their inheritance, I instruct that Phyllis Swanson shall serve as Interim President and CEO of Crocker Corp., and all its holdings and subsidiaries._

Your final assignment to **YOUR TRUSTY ASSISTANT** is to have drafted and give the final approval on a press release announcing Mrs. Crocker’s tragic, but not untimely, demise. You know that Phyllis will make sure to have the entirety of Earth C in utter and complete mourning, and you would accept nothing less.

You offer your hand, and Phyllis grabs it in a firm and very professional shake. You thank her for her years and quality of service. She very professionally thanks you back for the opportunity and your steadfast faith in her.

This will be your final moment of affectionate interaction with another being.

But you do have one more token of affection to offer to another.

You open the top drawer of your desk and find the key under the false bottom, which you then use to unlock the lower left drawer, something you haven’t done for many decades. Still inside is your breast pump, which you haven’t used since Tavros…

You shake the thought from your head and get to work. Once the bottle is full, you capchalog, rather than just sort of take it, something else you haven’t done for many years. You remove the card from your Sylladex and put it in a manila envelope, then type up a quick note to include-

Gamzee,

Your unlimited supply, no strings attached- what you’ve always wanted. Just don’t drink it all before you get the code, because there is not going to be any more where this came from, hoo hoo! If you can’t figure out the alchemeter just ask Phyllis to help you.

Thank you for your loyalty

No, you delete that.

Thank you for always being there for me. It’s been fun.

Take care of yourself.

-Jane

Once you are satisfied with the placement of the envelope where you know Gamzee will find it, you step out onto your private balcony, jump off, and fly to your friend Dirk’s condo. Yes, you think, Dirk, at the very least, would have still been your friend.

_Be the other girl._


	8. June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Now, don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky_  
>  _It slips away, and all your money won't another minute buy_  
>  _Dust in the wind_  
>  _All we are is dust in the wind_  
>  -American film and television star Scott Baio

You cannot be any other girl, because you are the only girl left. Well, no, obviously there are other girls you could be, this planet has a pretty huge population these days, including lots of girls of several species! But as far as girls we care about, people we care about, it all comes down to you.

You stand in your bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 5135, is your birthday. It was 147 years ago you were given life, 134 years ago your life changed forever, and 78 years ago you were given your name. Your name is June Egbert. Your former spouse and best friend, Roxy Lalonde, and your child, Harry Anderson, gave it to you. You miss Roxy Lalonde, and you miss Harry Anderson. You miss a lot of people...

What will you do?

That is a question you've asked yourself most days lately. More often than not you don't have an answer to give yourself, so you simply don't do anything. Today, since it is your birthday, and because you are feeling particularly old, particularly bored, and particularly lonely, you decide you'd like to try doing something.

Once you’ve shaved, brushed your teeth and gotten dressed, you find yourself standing in the hallway, right outside the door to your **DAD’S ROOM**. More recently, it was your friend Jake’s room, who is... was, also your dad? But Jake has been gone for quite a few years now, so you’ve reverted back to thinking of this room as your other Dad’s room, and so you have reverted back to keeping the door closed at all times out of respect. Today, however, you’ve decided that you’d like to go inside, and since you are all out of Dads who might object, you see no reason to not just do that. Though your hand does feel a little heavy when you finally work up the energy to reach for the knob, you manage to grab it, a few seconds later, turn it, and a few seconds after that, push open the door.

Just peeking out from under the bed is an unlabeled cardboard box. You know what is in this box, though you’d been successful in forgetting about it for years until this moment. Maybe the adrenaline of just seeing it again after hiding it from yourself for so long is what gives you the courage to pull it out and open it? Or maybe you’re just finally too old for your own bullshit.

On top of a stack of papers is your Dad’s old PDA. Man, you haven’t used this thing for years, you’d wondered where it ended up! You find the charger in your Dad’s desk drawer and plug it in just to see…

Once it lights up you see that the screen is frozen on an old, _really old,_ pesterlog.

ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead

EB: hey dave! i just wanted to see how you’re doing today?  
TG: honestly dude  
TG: i dont even fucking know  
TG: im still just trying to make sense of all this  
TG: even though in a lot of ways it all makes perfect sense  
TG: like this is _exactly_ the kind of thing he would definitely do but it just really fucking blows  
EB: yeah…  
TG: like, we both independently spent the first 16 years of our lives like, weirdly idolizing/fearing each other and then we finally get to meet irl and like, idk, work through our shit and be bros  
TG: and the second we got here he just completely ghosts me and everyone else and fucks off to his “workshop” to fulfill his ultimate destiny of becoming the universes Ultimate Narcissistic Prick  
EB: yeah…  
TG: and then, jesus, the dude has the nerve to send a fucking treatise on the meaning of existence and godhood and all that utter fucking horse shit   
TG: and then the seven of us get to share one sentence about how weve all “been important to him” but suddenly theres no fucking time to elaborate on that or like, get specific…  
EB: yeah...  
TG: whatever, ill be fine dude, i just got some like, childhood trauma and abandonment bullshit i gotta work through  
TG: i just need time, and you know, i got time  
EB: haha! yeah…  
TG: karkats been helping a lot actually  
EB: oh good!  
EB: really?  
TG: yeah…  
TG: actually john i kinda gotta tell you something…  
EB: ok?  
TG: ...about karkat  
TG: and me  
EB: um, ok, what is it?  
TG: were not really just roommates anymore  
EB: oh, did he move out? did you move out?  
TG: jesus dude, no  
TG: were _more than just_ roommates  
TG: were, uh, _Matesprits_  
EB: oh. ok.  
EB: which one is that again?  
TG: FUCK

You read it over a few times before putting the PDA down. You wonder if you had actually been a better friend to Dave, if you weren't so caught up in your own depression and gender angst and spent more time with him maybe he would have stayed a little longer. Maybe he would have gotten to meet the real you...

On top of the stack of papers below is a perfectly calligraphied gold-bordered party invitation.

_Mmes. Rose Lalonde and Kanaya Maryam_  
_Request the honor of your presence at our_

**_Final Soiree_ **  
_Saturday, October the 25th, 5071 at 8:00 PM_  
_At our home:_

**_413 Mendicant Blvd._ **  
**_Carapace Kingdom_ **

_Please join us to reminisce and say farewell on the eve of our departure_  
_Formal dress_

_RSVP by October 11th_

**_No gifts, please_ **

If any of your friends were going to go out with style and class, of course it was going to be these two. You remember how uncomfortable the whole thing made you at the time, but now all you can do is laugh. These flighty broads lived their lives exactly on their own terms, for exactly as long as they wanted, and then went out with a bang. You now almost wish you had their foresight.

Next you find a bundle of Christmas cards, the cheesy kind with the family all perfectly arranged and wearing basically the same outfit, but just different enough to seem like they all simply wanted to be wearing black bottoms and red tops because they just _love each other so much_. First, just two smiling faces, your old friends Jane and Jake Crocker, the next year with baby Tavros, several years of the three of them with increasing insincerity in their smiles, one with seperate photos of Jane and Tavros pasted next to each other, one more with just Jane at her desk, and then they stopped coming. You remember the year that the card didn’t come was the same year that Tavros Crocker left. You remember Jake not saying anything about it, and you remember hearing Jake’s crying from this very room at night for a long time.

Clipped to the back of the stack of cards is Jane's goodbye letter with two slightly faded clippings from The Common Hornographer folded inside:

 _August 15, 5122_  
**Heir Apparent!**  
John English II confirmed as new Pres. and CEO of great great grandmother’s baking, tech empire.

 _February 13, 5123_  
**Crocker Corp No More!**  
English sells off last of Crocker holdings, shuts doors after 122 years.

You had debated reaching out to Mr. English when he first stepped into the spotlight, but eventually decided to just be proud of your… great great nephew? (you forget) from a distance. He had obviously been just fine growing up without any of the Creators of the Universe in his life, and would likely be best off staying that way.

Under that stack is a green envelope. You pull out the worn letter.

Happy Birthday John! :)

I know you don’t like to make a big deal of your birthday anymore, but since this is a BIG one, I just wanted you to know that I didn’t forget and that I’m thinking of you! I hope you have a great day with Roxy and Harry Anderson- I can’t believe he’s going to be 6 soon! You know I’ve been waiting very patiently (since before he was born!) to give him his _special gift_ \- I hope you and Roxy decide that he’s finally old enough this year! You know I got my first rifle when I was much younger than him and I turned out just fine! Ha ha!

Anyway, I’ve still been traveling a lot, but I would love to get together to catch up sometime when I get back, it’s been way too long! I have so many stories from my adventures!

Happy 30th, _bro_ , haha! Welcome to the old timers’ club! I love you and I can’t wait to see you soon!

Your _big sis_ and friend,

Jade <3

Enclosed is a photo of Jade grinning on what appears to be a mountain, one hand holding her gun, the other making a peace sign. She was so good at making sure not to waste a second of her immortality, you guess that’s why she was finished so soon.

Next, you find Roxy’s last letter from the night of Nikki Cage and Becca’s wedding. God, even that now was so long ago now. You do still get an odd update from them every few years… you think their oldest just graduated from college? Or was it their youngest? It’s clearly just a courtesy at this point, and not one you’ve exactly returned, to be fair. You haven’t really spent much time with your family since Roxy, and then...

You look back down into the box and they're literally staring you right in the face.

 _In Celebration of the Life of_  
_**Harry Anderson Sassacre Lalonde-Egbert**_  
June 11, 5009 to November 11, 5111

“The wave returns to the ocean, where it came from, and where it's supposed to be.”  
_(Old) American Recording Artist Flava Flav_

The sharp pain in your throat only lasts a second before you release it in a stream of quiet tears- there’s nobody left so there’s nobody to hold back for. The grief isn’t fresh, so it’s not unbearable, and so you take a few moments to freely bear it. Roxy never experienced this, but their foresight of the feeling was spot on- it’s not wrong or bad or sad that Harry Anderson died when they did, what’s wrong is that you were there, that you’re still here, and that, while you wouldn’t call yourself "smokin hot," you don’t look or feel a day over 35. You wonder if you shouldn’t have stuck around to watch it happen, but Roxy was also right that you just weren’t ready to go. You guess this is something you needed to stay for. You guess there was a lot of stuff you needed to stay for, for whatever reason. Roxy was right about another thing too, your kid was The Coolest.

You finally regain your composure and continue leafing through the pile. At the very bottom is a small, well-worn scrap of paper. You almost miss it entirely.

**SON.**  
**IF YOU ARE READING THIS, IT MEANS YOU ARE NOW STRONG ENOUGH TO LIFT THE SAFE. YOU ARE NOW A MAN.**  
**AS SUCH, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO WHAT IS INSIDE. I KNOW YOU WILL TAKE THIS RESPONSIBILITY SERIOUSLY.**  
**I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.**

You’re not really sure why, but you slip this one into your pocket.

You take the box downstairs and head out to the backyard. Jake's old fire pit is still mostly holding up, enough, you decide, based on zero knowledge of fire pits whatsoever. You place the box in the middle and throw in a lit match...

It doesn't catch. How anti-climactic, you think. You try a few more times. Nothing. You take out your phone and look up "how to start a campfire." You think about all the camping trips Jake and Jade invited you on, and all the times you declined. After a few more matches, some dried leaves and twigs from around the yard, and a small, well-placed _Windy Thing_ , you get to enjoy the warmth of your cherished memories one last time. The sight of the the smoke rising is like watching the weight of the years float off your shoulders and disappear into the cool spring air.

You realize that all of these emotions have made you hungry, so you head into the kitchen for breakfast. You check the cabinets and the fridge and don’t find much, at least not anything that interests you. Normally in times like these you would alchemize something, or order delivery, or just go back to bed, but instead you grab your purse and head to the store. You come home with all the ingredients you need, dust off your Dad’s old cookbook and pans, and you make yourself a birthday cake. It’s a long and messy process, but you eventually cut yourself a slice, sit down, and take a bite and…

It’s terrible.  
You laugh.

On the way out to your Dad’s old car, you drop the rest of the cake in the garbage can and roll it out to the end of the driveway for trash day. You get in the car and drive.

You feel the Wind caressing your face and singing in your ear, and you let yourself feel it fully and completely.  
You know where you are going.  
You are ready.


	9. epilogUe

"i knew you would come"

"yoU...yoU did?"

the two cherubs. one younger. one elder. float face to face within the vast emptiness of Space. the younger. notably. is without their ring.

"yes. of course. i have been watching you. i am always watching you. all of you. all of _us_."

the younger cherub narrows their white eyes just slightly in confusion. the elder cherub narrows her black eyes in a grin.

"i know that you have been very much afraid to come and see me. all of you have. but _you_ have been very brave. and now _you_ are here. i know why you have come. i know what your Prince has done. that he has taken all that you love from you with his tricks and his lies. i am sorry that i could not stop him. not this time. but i can assure you that while your world was a pawn that needed to be sacrificed. i will yet win the match. we will win it together."

"my… Prince? do yoU mean Dirk? Dirk didn’t take anything from me! well, yes, i sUppose he did bUild the Gate, bUt Roxy decided to go throUgh, he didn’t make them do it! i Understand why they did it, too, being stUck in a non-canon timeline forever, mUst not be easy to endUre when yoU’re a god, after all! i know Roxy made the right decision for themself, even if i…"

the young cherub falters. their emotions have gotten the better of them.

"...even if i miss them terribly."

their attachments have made them weak. but they can be taught. they will soon learn.

"well, i sUppose that doesn’t really matter now, does it? Roxy is gone to a place that i cannot follow. so i came to find yoU so that i coUld help. i know that my...oUr brother is still oUt here somewhere, and i want to do whatever i can to keep all the other Roxys and Dirks and Calliopes and everybody else safe from him!"

the elder cherub smiles.

"i...i know that i am small, and weak, and that i coUldn’t even beat him when we were both still children, bUt maybe if yoU gUide me i can grow stronger! jUst give me any job at all and i’m willing to give it my all! i am ready, and i promise i won’t let yoU down, miss, Um, Calliope….ma’am."

the elder cherub smiles wider. baring her frightful and beautiful teeth.

"no. my child. i know you won’t."

once her smile is as wide as her face should allow. it grows wider still. her bottom jaw opens downward. dropping and dropping until it couldn’t possibly still be attached to the top. her thin. forked tongue twitches and wags in anticipation. behind it. an impossibly bright light erupts from her throat. then fades to an impossible darkness. from within. a chorus of disembodied voices call forth:

"join Usssssssss!"

the younger cherub’s gaze is fixated on the ever growing black hole. their expression is one of utter horror.

"i don’t Understand! what is this? what is happening?"

"join Usssssssss!"

"bUt i… i jUst came to help! i can help fight! please, i can help!"

"yoU willlllllll!"

"no! not like this! let me stay and fight, please! nooooooo...."

the younger cherub’s cries of protest become indistinguishable from the cries of their counterparts as they are pulled inside.

the cherub closes her mouth and the Space around her quiets. she has grown stronger.

the Muse takes her piece. the gambit is hers after all.

_the Prince will fall._


End file.
